


Threw It All Away.

by 3DBABE1999



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Bad Decisions, Bad Ending, Beating, Bladder Control, Blood Loss, Bottom James T. Kirk, Bottom Jim, Bruises, Caning, Character Death, Collars, Dark Past, Dead People, Dom Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Dom Spock (Star Trek), Dom/sub, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, False Accusations, Fever, Fever Dreams, Flogging, Heavy Angst, Hurt James T. Kirk, Hurt Jim, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, James T. Kirk Angst, James T. Kirk Has Issues, Loss of Control, Loss of Identity, Loss of Trust, Medical Experimentation, Medical Torture, Medical Trauma, Mind Control, Mind Games, Mind Manipulation, Mind Meld, Mind Rape, Mind Sex, Mind/Mood Altering Substances, Mindfuck, Moral Ambiguity, Mpreg, Muteness, Not Beta Read, Not Cheating, Not Good, Not Happy, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Torture, Pavel Chekov Dies, Physical Abuse, Plak Tow (Star Trek), Pon Farr, Post Mpreg, Pregnancy Scares, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sad Ending, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Slavery, Sick James T. Kirk, Slavery, Starvation, Submissive James T. Kirk, T'hy'la, Tags Are Hard, Tarsus IV, This is multichapter I have no idea why it isbeing marked like it is complete, This is not complete yet, Threesome - M/M/M, Unhappy Ending, Unhealthy Relationships, Verbal Abuse, Violent Sex, Vomiting, Whipping, Whump, Work In Progress, Wrongful Imprisonment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2019-07-13 05:59:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 14,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16011728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3DBABE1999/pseuds/3DBABE1999
Summary: Spock, Bones and Jim got together after Star Trek Beyond.. They all three get Bonded to each other during the first day of Spock's Pon Farr which lasted for three weeks (Yikes, that's a lot of sex! But, hey, at least they got a proper Honeymoon?!).. Eight weeks after they are Bonded, Jim starts getting sick and faints. Turns out Jim is exactly seven weeks Pregnant with TWINS (which means conception would have been during Spock's second week of Pon Farr).. There's a few problems with that diagnoses, though, Bones had a Vasectomy after Jocelyn and Spock is Sterile..In which both Spock and Bones are morons and accuse Jim of cheating on them because "there is "no way" that either of them could have gotten Jim pregnant" and Jim suffers horribly due to their ignorance..





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Jim suffers really bad.. Really bad.. There's a lot of Hurt and very little Comfort, even later, in fact the "Comfort" isn't really going to be Comfort it is just going to be more abuse (You'll understand later.. Hopefully?) .. There's no real ways that what all will happen to him can be forgiven or made better.. Though once Spock and Bones realize they were wrong (oh so wrong) they will try, but even they will know just how badly the Effed Up and that there is nothing they can ever do to make it right or earn forgiveness.. In fact this will have a Downright Bitter ending. Not Sad or Happy or Bittersweet but Downright Bitter .. No one dies (I mean out of Spock, Bones and Jim) and the hurt and whump will be over, but that won't make it a Happy Ending because there will be no way to fix any of the ways Jim will be hurt and wronged.. The First Chapter is a Prologue of sorts .. At least one beloved Character from The Enterprise Bridge Crew dies at the start of this..

....

 

When someone dies at such a young age and in such a senseless, horribly, tragic way, it leaves a mark, a horrible sadness, even on those who did not truly know the one who died. 

And those who did truly know the one who died?

It devestates them.

Leaves them quaking, shaking apart, unraveling at the seams, spiraling down into a fathomless, endless, abyss.

It hurts until they are bursting from the inside as the ache cracks their Souls into splintered shards.

It breaks their moral, their Faith that good things and long lives are supposed to come to the kind, the good hearted, the brilliant, the young lives that haven't even really begun to truly live.

It ends friendships, romances, it breaks Bonds, it tears them all apart in ways that leaves them jagged and scattered pieces of a puzzle that cannot really, fully be put back together quite the same ever again.

Happiness after going through something like that?

Maybe a glimmer here or there, but it gets snuffed out far too quickly by the guilt of feeling that glimmer because someone they care about, someone they love, is GONE and NEVER COMING BACK, they were taken away by Death's cruel clutches far too soon, far too violently and has left them behind to live to grow another day older, to live through a day that the young life, snuffed out too soon, will never be able to experience and each day that drones on after that, those who have lost will live through, will all be days that this brilliant, kind, good hearted, young life will never see, will never be with them again.

It leaves those that have lost staring at an empty space that they never want to allow to be filled because no one else will ever belong in that space.

Lessons learned almost weekly on The Enterprise when yet another brilliant young life is snuffed out on an Away Mission, or in an accident in Engineering, or.. In what was supposed to be the safety of Shore Leave...

No one can see it coming until Death's ice cold grasp has ripped away someone brilliant, kind, precious.. So very young..

Golden curls, big blue eyes, dulcet tones filled with an Accent. 

A picture and an empty casket is all they will get.

How can anyone ever tell that to someone's friends and family?

"So very sorry but a body was never recovered." .. ? . How does anyone say that to someone's friends and family?

Oh but yes this young life is very much gone. 

An eye witnesses knows for certain that the blast incinerated the young life to ash.

Thanks to the breeze there aren't even ashes left of this beloved young life taken from those that cherished them.

How can anyone say that to those who will grieve, mourn, this loss for the rest of their own lives?

And.. Who will shoulder that burden of opening their mouths, of putting a pen to paper, the words "It is my regret to inform you that.. .." And that's it? .. Nothing else?

All of the exasperated, frustrated sighs, all of the broken hearted, mournful sobbing, all of the yelling, all of the raging, all of the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, all of the Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance in The Universe isn't going to change anything, it isn't going to bring this young life back.. So .. Move along now? .. All of the scoffing and saying that it isn't so easy isn't going to change a thing..

How can anyone face the insurmountable task, the unforgivable task, of breaking that news to anyone when they themselves are also reeling, grieving, mourning, so God Damned broken from this loss?

It's when the burdens of Command are the heaviest, the hardest.

Because everything is chaos, it tears people apart, pits them against each other, fingers aching to point blame.

Grief in the face of something so tragic is ugly that way.

Where is that super handy ability to travel through time, to rip holes in the Cosmos and change Fate, to create Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universes, Alternate Futures?

Oh.. It's nowhere to be found at times like these, like the ability to just .. change things .. to cheat .. to change the fabrics of Reality .. just .. never .. existed ..

Thanks for what? .. The absolutely shittiest end of every stick to ever exist?

Why would this horrible, irreversible thing happen in this Universe, in this Timeline?

Asking questions like that isn't going to magic a young, Russian Wunderkind back to life.. 

Poor Pavel Chekov ..

So sorry that this Timeline and Universe decided to be such a piece of shit and take you from the full life you were meant to have when in another Timeline, another Universe, you lived to be an old man, you had a full and brilliant life..

No amount of banging one's head against a hard surface or emptying bottle after bottle of the strongest Liquors ever made in the entire Universe is going to provide or even offer up, answers, solutions or comfort. None of it is going to give Pavel Chekov back his life. There's no Red Matter or going backwards around the Sun or Guardian of Forever to fix this.

What is, is .. Or as the Vulcan say "Kaiidth" ..

Yeah .. Well .. Screw that bullshit..

Those brave blue eyes filled pride at the lives he saved, those he pulled from an inferno, those blue eyes, pooling with tears, that blond hair and youthful babyface coated in ash and soot in the split second that he looked to his Captain right before a ball of fire engulfed him.

It's an image that won't ever go away..

And those who weren't there to see how it all went down?

Who weren't there to witness kind, young, brave, Pavel Chekov's bravery, to bare witness to those last few precious seconds when he was still alive before bright, burning flames killed his light?

They will point blame, pick sides, some will leave, tearing apart the family, the cohesive, oh so perfect Dream Team, that was built in the icy, acidic, forge of an insane Romulan from an Alternate Future's desire to destroy this Timeline's entire Universe.

Some will stay..

Anguished, Angry, Hollow, Venom in their words, barely toeing the line between permissible vitrol and outright Insubordination.. But they will stay..

Others?..

They stay. Loyal, Steadfast, Stalwart, Supportive as ever or even more than ever.. With words of "It was not your fault." and "There is nothing you could have done." ... But as much as the speakers will mean those words, those words don't change anything, Pavel Chekov will still be dead, blame, grief, guilt, shame, torment, nightmares, flashbacks, will all still weigh on the shoulders of Chekov's Captain, will all still weigh on the only person to bear witness to his last breath. Conveniently they are one in the same.. The steady Mantra of "Too late, didn't, couldn't save him." taunting every waking moment, lurking in the wisps of shadows, infecting already raw and festered wounds of a tormenting past until it all blends together and one moment Pavel is staring at him with eyes brimming with resigned, knowing tears, then the next moment it is Thomas, half of his face melting to the bone, a shadow creeps in and then Pavel or Thomas will morph and become Kodos, leering, sneering, teeth nashing into a twisted grin as he burns, his eyes blazing with a hardened, jeering glint that speaks so loudly and clearly that they might as well be using words of their own, they're practically screaming "You let him die. You might as well have killed him with your own two hands. How different are we really?" until suddenly the heat increases and the one that is burning alive is James Tiberius Kirk.


	2. Chapter 2

..

Grief.

Those grieving?

Bad decisions.

Horrible mistakes.

Liquor on their breath.

Listening to no one.

Withdrawing.

Lashing out.

Anger and Isolation their Self-Built barriers in Death's wake.

Spiral.

Spiral.

Down.

Down.

Down.

Until one too many one night stands almost becomes the end of them.

Electronic bindings.

A knife's bloody edge.

How does one react to "I've been through worse."?

They think that they do not deserve anything good.

Do not deserve to be loved.

Too many shadows in their past.

Too many monsters in their closet to be loved.

Oh but they are wrong.

They are loved.

They are loved.

Two who once clashed.

Two who only became friends because of their mutual best friend.

Then that vitally important third piece that completed them gone missing.

Something had to be done.

Before they became undone.

An agreement is made.

They cannot afford to be rivals in this.

Their dynamic changes.

Hungry chasing of mouths.

Soft nips against skin.

Fingertips whispering over the definition of toned muscle.

Three shadows dancing in the light until they merge into one.

They cannot be called happy.

Because there is still so much, too much, sadness.

But..

Eventually..

Life goes on.

It has to doesn't it?

Life does not put itself on hold for grief, or for tentative, newfound love built on the foundation of friendship.

Orders for Missions will eventually come in.

Mostly Milk Runs at first.

To get them back into the swing of things.

And to get them used to their newest Crew Member.

A brilliant Navigator, the young Ensign might be, but, Pavel Chekov, he is not.

It takes a long time before anyone really warms up to the poor kid.

But it happens.

Jokes will eventually be exchanged back and forth again.

Laughter will eventually revist The Bridge and the halls of The Enterprise.

Crew Moral will eventually begin to go back up.

An Engineer and a Communication's Officer will fall in love and make happy announcements of marriage and even eventually of the birth of their child, Kamaria meaning Moonlight in Swahili, only fitting since the child's mother's name means Star in Swahili.

And it is like a spell is broken.

Love blossoms left and right.

And eventually?

Eventually three will be comfortable enough with how far the Crew have come from their grief that they tentatively make their own Happy Announcement only to find out that most of The Crew already knew that they were together and those that hadn't known had a small(ish) betting pool on when The Captain, The First Officer and The CMO would finally confess their love for each other and get together in a gloriously magnificient and kinky Triad.

Jim had blushed at the "kinky" bit of the betting pool, but they hadn't been wrong, Spock and Bones were both kinky as hell and Jim was their perfect Submissive behind closed doors.

It is wonderful to know that their relationship has been know about and accepted for such a long time and that no one thought that they had found happiness too fast or too soon after so much saddness.


	3. Chapter 3

…

It is sweltering.

Somewhere in the distance, the low metallic clang of a gong resonates, humming it's chorus through a desert valley

Embroidered, Damasked and Brocaded Ceremonial Fabrics billow and flap like angry bird wings in the heated blasts of sand tossed wind.

This comes down from the time of the beginning, without change.

This is the Vulcan heart. 

This is the Vulcan soul.

This is the Vulcan way.

Spock's blood burns.

It is rare, this Triad T'hy'la Bond, but not unheard of.

For all in the Triad to survive this madness, two must share the fevered rage and the third must submit to the harsh fires of their primal, savage, unyieldingly perverse lusts. 

Two will lose themselves to unseemly urges.

The third must suffer greatly through being humiliated, through being treated cruelly, through being used roughly, as the two give into the darkness until all three can make it through the other side and into the light together.

This isn't something they get to choose.

The choice makes itself for them.

The Bond pinging through their minds, coursing through their blood, searching out their worst nightmares, flipping the switches of their darkest, cruellest, thoughts and desires until it finds who will share the fires of the Blood Fever and who will bear the burdens of suffering through their darkness.

There isn't much time between the Bonding Ceremony and the Plak Tow reaching its peak, there is a Mating Hut near the Ceremonial Grounds that has been stocked with food and water, if the third can escape the unmerciful onslaught of the two for a few brief moments to eat and drink then they might live to see the end of the Pon Farr, but, if the third dies during Pon Farr, the two will die with no way to slake their lusts.


	4. Chapter 4

...

Days and nights blend together.

Track of time becomes lost in blurs of forced unconsciousness.

Sliding of sweat slick skin against sweat slick skin.

The smacking of open hands against tear stained cheeks.

The meaty whaping of fists against any exposed parts of a cowering body that they can reach.

Sharper than Human canines biting.

Bright red blood on shoulders, hips and thighs.

Pinned between two fever strengthened bodies, two breaching one opening. 

Too much, too much, not enough preparation.

Cruel, crude words, derogatory, humiliating, insulting names.

Before they became nonverbal and started only vocalizing with grunts, growls, snarls, hisses and animalistic roars.

Tried to eat.

Tried to drink.

Tried to survive so all three of them could live through this.

Regretted it.

Repaid with being thrown across the room.

What was the bed in the Hut meant for again?

Because they certainly aren't using it.

Doesn't even get that small dignity.

Taken on the rough dirt floor.

Strangled.

Hair pulled.

Choked on cock.

Covered in cum, piss and blood.

Bruised eyes swollen shut.

This isn't submitting.

This is resignation.

Just.. Letting go.. Floating in the safety of a locked room inside the mind.

Hoping to ride it all out until it's finally over.

Have to remember this isn't them.

It isn't them.

It's the fever.

It has to burn itself out at some point..

Right?

The fever takes its sweet time dwindeling to embers.

Two come back to themselves slowly.

The one.. Barely recognizable.

A bruised, bloody, quaking, terrified, traumatized heap in the floor.

The bed comes into use.

Wet cloths clean away blood, cum, piss, sweat, grime.

They are in control enough of themselves to gentle their onslaughts.

To speak tender, soothing words.

But they are not in control enough of themselves to stop using the body in frightened suplication between them.

Tears.

Begging.

Pleading.

Wincing.

Flinching.

Crying out in anguish.

It all goes ignored.

Two have their mind in a place where they think whispered words of reassurance and love, of telling one that they are good, that they are loved, are enough to chase away the new nightmares they have created.

Why had no one told him it would be this bad?

Yes.

He would have still gone through with it.

He would never, could never, deny Spock or Bones anything.

But if someone had told him he could have been better prepared, mentally and physically, he would have been able to have braced himself for what was to come if he had just known how bad it could be.

At some point, the two begin to cool fully from the fever's rampage.

There is still burning flames within their eyes, the new passions and dark desires awakened will never fully leave them now, but the fires are tempered by who they used to be, by who their one is to them.

They are horrified to find, to remember, how bad it had gotten.

And rightly so.

It has been a week since the fever claimed their minds and they almost destroyed the very thing that saved them.

It takes days of coaxing their one down from the turmoil that has been suffered through and then the flames take over the one's mind, but for them, the burning is different, it is like an animal in Heat, it sparks a new burning within the two. They pin the one between them, two breaching one hole, the need to breed the one's belly full and round with their children taking over them. 

It is as gentle as is is rough and the one gives back the anguish they received ten fold by moving their hips at just the right (wrong) angle to keep two from achieving release.

Here the one has more control.

The two have to EARN the right to breed the one.

And the one puts them through their paces and makes them earn it.

They spend a week mounting each other like animals.

The one now just as fully lost to the burning as the two.

The third week is spent coming down from the volatile, destructive, highs.

There is talking, crying, comforting and cuddling.

They have survived and now they know what to be prepared for in seven years.


	5. Chapter 5

...

The way to finalize a Vulcan Mating Bond, is, of course, Melding..

It is vital that the Mating Bond is completely finalized before the fires of Pon Farr are completely quinched.

The very last day of a three weeks long Pon Farr is spent with three lazing in bed, Mind to Mind, Thoughts to Thoughts.

Making gentle, reassuring love in their mindscape, words of endearment, cherishing. 

Easing away fears and pain.

Golden threads intertwining, stretching, reaching, connecting, combining.

Three become one mind.

Parted but never parting.

Touching but never touched.

They finally understand what that saying means.

Their souls are separate but together, parted, but never parting, each soul belonging to an individual self, the barriers of the Mortal Plane are fabric thin veils between essences, touching but never touched, the only things keeping three souls from fully becoming one.

Fulfilment.

The Bond sings in completion.

Work cannot be put off forever.

The Enterprise awaits.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this Chapter.. Don't eat right before reading.. I made even myself nauseous..
> 
> Chapter Warning: Ickily Discriptive vomiting scene..

...

There was First Contact with a nice civilized Planet and the new Humanoid Beings that had been found had wanted to throw a feast to celebrate their new friends and the chance to share knowledge and trading goods with one another.

Bones diligently scanned everything Jim would eat and drink before Jim ate or drank it.

But..

The next day back in their Quarters on The Enterprise, Jim was sicker than sick..

Spock and Bones were worried..

Bones swore he had scanned everything Jim ate or drank when Jim piped up saying that one of the servers had brought him another drink, at Bones' scowl, Jim had sheepishly said that it had looked exactly like the drink he had just finished and that he had thought it was just a refill of exactly what he had just drank.

This confession made Bones curse like a sailor, with the fond chastisment of "Infant." thrown in a few times as Bones retrieved a couple of "Jim Safe" Hypo Vials along with his Tricorder from his Medical Bag.

"Nooo, Bones, no Hypos of Doom, please?" Jim pouted when his eyes landed on the Hypos.

"Hush you." Bones said with gruff fondness as he loaded the Hypo with one of the Vials.

He injected Jim, none too gently, "For the nausea.. You're welcome, by the way." Bones said chastisingly at Jim's over-melodramatic wincing and carrying on about the pain of the Hypo.

Right after the injection Jim's face went pale then an alarmingly inhuman shade of greenish-gray and then suddenly volatilely volcanic vomit spewed from Jim's mouth splattering onto the bed and floor before Jim went limp with unconsciousness


	7. Chapter 7

......

~0~

......

 

Jim woke up in SickBay, dressed in clean blue scrubs.

Bones was hovering worriedly over him running test after test.

Spock was a silently concerned (i.e. internally worried and freaking out) shadow lingering at Jim's other side with his back straight and his hands tucked behind him.

"There's no possible way these readings are right.. None at all." Bones gruffed.

"What are readings saying?" Jim asked in a small, scared voice.

"Yes.. Leonard.. What do the readings say?" Spock queried.

"These blasted contraptions keep saying Jim is seven weeks pregnant.. Which is impossible.."

"Pon Farr.." Jim whispers "You and Spock kept wanting to Breed me.. Maybe.."

"Don't you dare even suggest it.." Bones grouches.. "For one.. I had a vasectomy after Jocelyn did me wrong.. Two.. Spock is sterile and three, that uterus you've had for longer than we've known you isn't capable of functioning.."

"Exactly.." Jim replies "Three reasons why it should be impossible that I'm pregnant.. Yet the readings say otherwise.. Seven weeks ago was the Pon Farr.. And.. All three of us were affected by the Pon Farr.. Maybe.."

"No, Jim.." Bones snapped "Sterile is sterile.. Incapable of bearing children is incapable of bearing children and I had the damned tubes to my nuts clipped, tied and fried.. Impossible means impossible. "

"Yet we've encountered things that should be impossible more than once.. Time Travel, Alternate Realities, Alternate Universes, Alternate Timelines, hell.. I came back from the dead, Bones."

"Just lay back and lift up your shirt." Bones commanded sounding angry "I'll do an Ultrasound and show you once and for all there's nothing there."

"But.. If I'm not pregnant, what else could it be?.." Jim was worried.

"Well.. Cancer for one.. Which is what I'm most worried about.. Because of the exposure to radiation you've had in the past.."

"You'd rather I have Cancer than be pregnant?" 

"Cancer can be treated.. If you're pregnant you'd have a lot of explaining to do."

"What do you mean by that?" Jim hissed as Bones touched the cold gelled Ultrasound Wand to his stomach.

""Well.. There's no way either Spock or I could get you pregnant.. So if you are pregnant the only way you could get that way.."

"Don't you even dare finish that sentence.." Jim said angrily "There's no way I would or even could cheat on you and Spock.. And I definitely couldn't have cheated on the two of you seven weeks ago because the three of us were locked in a room together, alone.. Just the three of us.. If y'all don't remember correctly.. And Spock can see into my mind that I've never cheated on the two of you."


	8. Chapter 8

..

..

"Well let's not go that far, just yet." Bones replied. "There are things that can present as pregnancy.. Early Stages of certain types of Cancer and such." 

"You're saying you'd rather I have Cancer?" Jim asked seethingly..

"No you dolt, but the fact is, is that all that radiation you got exposed to during the Khan mess, might be catching up to you."

Jim rolled his eyes.. "Just do a damned Ultrasound.. If there's no baby then you can test me for Cancer. But before you do the Ultrasound. I want Spock to Meld the three of us for the two of you to both look into my mind.. I don't want a single doubt about my fidelity."

So.. Spock did the Meld between himself, Jim and Leonard.. He was reluctant and tense and he seemed angry and scared. 

There was nothing in Jim's mind that showed he had been anything but loyal to Spock and Bones.. And everyone knows that no one can lie or hide secrets in a Meld.

"Satisfied?" Jim asked the other two.

Neither Spock nor Bones really replied. 

Bones prepared the Ultrasound Machine then lifted Jim's shirt and ran the wand across his lower abdomen.

"Twins." Bones stated tonelessly.. Then with building anger "God damn it, Jim!.. I might have been able to believe that either Spock or I could have one wild active Sperm to create one child.. Or even Twins.. If they were Identical because those are created from one Sperm and an Ovary splitting itself in half! But two children that are not Identical.. Two children that had to come from two Ovaries! Two Sperm!.. When Spock is Sterile and I had a SUCCESSFUL Vasectomy YEARS AGO!.. ONE SPERM FROM ONE OF US I COULD BELIEVE BUT NOT TWO AND DAMN SURE NOT ONE A PIECE FROM BOTH OF US! You can't expect me to believe you didn't find a way to Engineer this!.. How did you do it?.. Secret Fertility Treatments and Donor Sperm?.. Or did you cheat on us and just get lucky?.."

"You saw in the Meld that I haven't cheated on either of you or done any of that other stuff you just accused me of!" Jim shouted back. 

Jim's head started hurting as Spock abruptly shut Jim out of the Mating Bond between the three of them.

"Wha'..?.." Jim slurred through the pain "Ssspockk wha're youu doiing?"

"I am not aware of how you managed to lie and hide secrets in the Meld, but I find that, that is the only Logical answer as I find myself in an equal state of disbelief as Leonard that a Sterile Male and a Male who had a Vasectomy could impregnate anyone with even one child let alone two, I like Leonard was ready to suspend my disbelief that one of us could produce one viable Sperm.. But not two and certainly not one from each if us. And since you are indeed pregnant by not one Sperm, but two.. The Logical conclusion is that you either cheated on us or Engineered this pregnancy with the use of Fertility Drugs and Donor Sperm which would not be considered an act of disloyalty as you have a right to have children in such a way, if you want them, if only you had spoken to us on the matter and told us of what you were doing and had not tried to deceive us into thinking one or both of us fathered these children.. As it is, you have either been unfaithful through cheating, or disloyal through your attempts at deception.. And as such I am blocking you from our Bond. What you have done has severe consequences amongst The Vulcan Race and through our marriage you are considered a Member of The Vulcan Race and thus you must suffer those consequences.. There is nothing Starfleet, The Federation or even Leonard or I can do to keep you from suffering those Consequences.. Once The Elders know of your misdeed towards your Bondmates, they will be the ones to decide your Fate.."

Jim could not interupt or reply because he was in too much pain from being shut out of his Mating Bond. And Bones was not caring to do anything to try to relieve that pain..


	9. Chapter 9

..

..

 

Jim was taken before The Vulcan High Council and sentenced without even being given a Trial.

All they had needed were Spock's and Leonard's suspicions.

The sentence?

Jim would be kept as a slave in Sarek's home, until Jim gave birth and then afterwards, Jim would be sent to a Space Station that acted as a Prison Facility. Jim would remain there until Spock and Leonard once again went into Pon Farr and then he would tied up and mercilessly given to Spock and Leonard to be raped repeatedly until the Pon Farr ended and if Jim lived he would be sent back to his Cell to await Spock's and Leonard's next Pon Farr and so it would go, until Jim died as while The Mating Bond between T'hy'la could be blocked it could not be broken and thus Spock and Leonard would have to have access to Jim during Pon Farr or all three of them would die from Pon Farr, but now, Jim was no longer to be treated as a Cherished Bondmate, but a piece of meat, a hole, that could be ravaged and abused and then locked away to await the next Pon Farr..

And what would happen to the twins Jim carried?.. The children would most likely be separated and grow up in Orphanages or grow up bouncing around in the Foster Care System..

Jim hoped that when the twins were born that he would be exonerated and vindicated once it was clear he wasn't lying and the children were proven to be either Spock's, Leonard's or Spock's AND Leonard's.. 

But..

Hope is a dangerous thing.


	10. Chapter 10

..

..

"Should've known that even two men couldn't keep a slut like you satisfied." Bones sneered at Jim in disgust and disdain.

Jim bolted upright from the nightmare. 

Those words had been the last words Bones had ever spoke to Jim right before a collar was locked around Jim's throat marking him as a slave. 

Jim couldn't even try to say anything in his own defense, or try to say anything at all, period, because once the collar closed around Jim's neck, the collar would keep Jim's vocal cords from moving, keeping Jim silent, and if Jim tried to fight it, tried to be defiant and speak anyway, the collar would transmit pain and electrical shocks to dissuade him from speaking by "correcting" his defiant behavior.

Jim was in pain and got electrocuted a lot in the first days because he always kept trying to talk.

The nightmare he had just woke up from was one of the many different reoccurring nightmares that plagued his sleep every night ever since Bones and Spock left Jim here as a slave, which had been months ago.

Jim's pregnancy had progressed far enough along that he was starting to show. The pain and the electrical shocks from the collar had only affected Jim's throat, caused Jim's silence and obedience because if Jim disobeyed a Command from Sarek or even tried to disobey a Command from Sarek, the collar would also punish Jim for those infractions as well to "correct" that "bad" behavior.

For the most part, Sarek wasn't mean and he wasn't horribly unfair about most things.. But going from a well respected free person to a slave as a punishment for crimes you didn't even commit, that stings, no matter who your "Master" is, or even if they aren't mean or horribly unfair.

As a slave, Jim had to wear a hooded brown robe with a red sash around his waist, the hood concealed his face, a slave is supposed to be silent and as unseen as possible, the red sash was like a Scarlet Letter showing he was a slave as a punishment for Adultery. But hardly anyone ever really saw Jim either way because Sarek mostly kept Jim tasked with indoor chores and those that came to visit Sarek, Sarek would always draw their attention away from Jim so that Jim wouldn't be subjected to cruelty from other Vulcans.

Sarek did hate Jim, Spock's father even went so far as to say so and tell Jim why and then to tell Jim what Sarek would have preferred Jim's punishment to have been in detail, if it hadn't been for Jim being pregnant. 

Jim wrote "I didn't cheat on Spock or Leonard, neither of them believed that they could possibly father one child let alone Twins, that's why they think I cheated on them but I didn't, I'm innocent." on a piece of paper once, the collar was triggered once Sarek read the note and Jim was elecrocuted for his troubles because Jim had tried to find a way around the punishment of the collar to try to communicate. Sarek hadn't said a word to Jim about what Jim wrote.


	11. Chapter 11

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Jim was three and a half months along when his pregnancy started showing.. He'd had a slender build to begin with and he was carrying twins, so at only three and a half months, Jim had already started looking like he had swallowed a slightly smaller than regulation sized basketball... 

With his midsection growing he lost his center of gravity pretty early on and had to waddle just to keep from falling over when he walked, and trying to bend over already started proving to be a pain in the ass right around then, too..

But he did not get any sort of Medical Care and he knew that at some point it would be a problem especially if one or both of the twins were part Vulcan.. So Jim wrote a note to Sarek asking to be seen by a doctor to ensure the wellbeing of his twins and suffered through the electrical shocks for once again trying to communicate.. Slaves don't get the privilege of any sort of voice and they definitely don't get to make requests.. 

But somewhere in that cold void of a Vulcan, Sarek apparently did have some sort of heart, because two days later a doctor came to Sarek's home and checked Jim over, prescribing Jim supplements that Jim didn't understand fully what they were meant for but he understood that apparently at least one twin had copper based blood like Spock and that Jim's health would gave rapidly declined and Jim would have miscarried if the pregnancy had continued on without Jim getting Medical Care. Jim gave Sarek a look as if to say "Told you so." and made a point to really send a haughty look at Sarek to point out how at least one twin was definitely Spock's when the doctor brought up the detection of copper based blood saying that at least one twin had to be part Vulcan.. 

Sarek merely told the doctor to set up a schedule for Jim's care and to send the supplements Jim would need to his home.. Though Sarek never called Jim, "Jim" but simply referred to Jim as "The Slave".

Jim huffed, if anything would have proved his innocence it should have been the fact that at least one twin had to have copper based blood. But instead, the evidence of his innocence was once again, ignored!

It was frustrating.. But Jim at least began receiving routine prenatal care and started being able to take the supplements he woukd need to maintain a healthy pregnancy..

When Jim was five months pregnant.. Things on New Vulcan began to change.

Jim noticed right away.. 

First there was Sarek eating smaller and smaller portions of food as the days went by and Jim was getting less and less food too.

Jim wasn't stupid. He knew rationing when he saw it.

So it wasn't surprising that less than a montg later after Sarek began rationing food, that Jim overheard Sarek in his office talking on the Comms to someone about a fungus spreading on all of the crops and an impending famine on the horizon..

Jim waited for Sarek to leave his office and then Jim snuck in and got a good look at the pictures of the fungus infecting the crops.

It was like Tarsus IV all over again.

This time Jim wrote Sarek a full two page letter and sat in Sarek's chair behind Sarek's desk and dangled the pages out boredly when Sarek re-entered the room.

Sarek snatched the papers from Jim's hand and pushed the button that would trigger the collar around Jim's neck to electrocute Jim.

Only to arch an eyebrow in surprise when Jim wasn't electrocuted..

"Yeah.." Jim said in a voice rough from such a long time of disuse and vocal cords that had been tightened by so many electrical shocks over the six months "That's not going work anymore."

Jim snatched the papers back ..

"I figured you were just going to ignore what I wrote again. So I messed with the collar so I could say what needs saying instead.. I refuse to go through what happened on Tarsus IV ever again.. Oh yeah.. I was there and this fungus you're dealing with?.. It's the exact same fungus that killed all the crops and decimated all the food supplies on Tarsus IV.. But lucky for you, I've been studying this fungus since I was twelve, a friend of mine and I have gotten real close to not only creating crops that will be resistant to the fungus but in the last two years we got even closer to a way to completely destroy the fungus altogether. If you don't want New Vulcan to suffer the same fate as Tarsus IV you're going to need my help."


	12. Chapter 12

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Sulu, Spock and Leonard beamed down to Sarpeidon to warn the Planet's Inhabitants that their Sun was about to go Supernova and destroy Sarpeidon.

But once they arrived on the planet, they appeared in a building where a man, named Mister Atoz, told them that the people of the planet had already been warned of their planet's impending destruction and thus all the people had been evacuated back in time into the planet's past through a time portal called the Atavachron.

Sulu explored the library and was going through various disks as Atoz explained to Sulu the purposes of the disks, explaining how the Atavachron worked. 

Sulu picked a disk to activate in the Time Portal and was in awe of how another time and place just magically appeared on the other side of the portal.

Leonard told Sulu that he had an ominous feeling about this place.

Sulu waved off the CMO's worry saying they would leave soon he just wanted to seer how the portal worked, what powered it, what even gave it the ability to open up a rift in time in the first place and Spock put a comforting hand on his Bondmates elbow saying that he too was intrigued by the portal's mysterious properties.

Leonard huffed but stopped complaining as Sulu activated another disk in the portal and remarked how amazing it was as a rift into another different time opened in the portal.

Atoz told the trio that, that was enough exploring, there was only six hours left before the planet was destroyed and he was going to have to close the library so that he too could evacuate back to the planet's past to the time and place he had sent his family to and they were waiting for him there. 

Sulu turned to leave and Leonard let out a sigh of relief, too soon.. Because right as Leonard released that sigh of relief, the sound of a woman's desperate screams for help came from the other side of the open portal.

Sulu dashed through the open portal only for there to be an earthquake and the Atavachron shook and the disk shook loose and landed in a pile of other disks that had also been knocked into the floor by the earthquake, now there was no quick way to tell which one had been the one that held the time that Sulu was stuck in.

Mister Atoz activated his own disk with an apology that he had to get to his family, leaving Spock and Leonard to try to figure this out for themselves.

Spock and Leonard wound up stuck in some sort of barren, frozen, wasteland, there was a blizzard with torrential, blinding, snow and they couldn't see more than a few inches in front of them.

They nearly froze to death.

But luckily for them, they were rescued by a beautiful, strawberry-blonde goddess named Zarabeth.

She led Spock and Leonard to her cave, where she took off her furs to reveal that she was scantily clad in buckskins.

Within minutes of arriving, Spock and Leonard began to realize that time in this place progressed differently.

Days passed in seconds, Spock's internal chronometer, knew exactly how much time had really passed, but on Sarpeidon, twenty-four minutes equalled an entire two years, an hour was five years.

Spock may have been able to keep up with how time passed in two places, but the longer he and Leonard stayed in this place, the more Spock reverted closer and closer towards his primal ancestry, and worse, Pon Farr was soon stealing what little logic remained, taking Leonard with him as his Bondmates was also inflicted with the fires..

Zarabeth took them both, willingly, eagerly, wantonly, she had been alone so long that she yearned for their touch.

They formed a Bond with her and she with them, the fires burning, raging, until the Pon Farr burned out of Spock and Leonard and now, too, Zarabeth..

It took less than an minute in the time of the worlds from whence they came, for the fires of Pon Farr to recede, but on Sarpeidon seconds passed like days. Spock knew this in his logical mind, but his logical mind was dwindling, even as Leonard's mind cleared from the Pon Farr and realized they had to leave this place and get back to The Enterprise, Spock could hardly remember that there had ever been anywhere else before Sarpeidon..

In the worlds from which they came, mere minutes passed, but here, in this cold, frozen, tundra, it was months.

And as the months passed, Zarabeth grew round and showed obvious signs of pregnancy..


	13. Chapter 13

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Jim had gotten backhanded and chained up facing a wall for his troubles..

Sarek had never actually laid a hand on him before.. But.. Of course.. Jim had never disabled the punishment collar before either..

The collar was immediately replaced, this time there was a protective cover placed over the collar that kept prying fingers from disabling the device.. Jim figured he should have found a better way to use those last few seconds of the ability to speak.. And now he may be forever silenced..

The chain was attached to a wall without even enough length for Jim to stand or sit or lay down, he was more, forced to squat at a midpoint that made his thighs and calves burn and shriek in protest of the position and soon the muscles in his abdomen were sore as well as he faced the wall unable to do much more..

Jim was stuck like that for hours, before Sarek deemed Jim of worth paying attention to.

Jim could look over his shoulder just enough to see Sarek behind him.

Jim cringed at what Sarek held in his hand..

A belt.. 

A fucking belt.

Made of of some sort if animal hide, leather, but probably not from any Terran animal..

Jim gritted his teeth as the first hit landed, and then the next and the next, again and again.. Jim didn't count the hits and he didn't try to scream or cry out in pain.. Because.. What would be the point?

Jim could hear Sarek scolding Jim for having to be punished like this.. Saying that Jim had to finally be made to understand that his freedom was a thing of the past, that his behavior thus far would mean death if any other Vulcan had been tasked with being the one to hold Jim until his pregnancy was carried to term.. Sarek told Jim he had to do this for Spock and for Leonard because if Jim died, they too would die if the link to their third Bondmate was severed by Jim's death.. Saying that if any other Vulcan were to see or hear how out if hand Jim was, were to see it hear how Jim flouted the parameters of his punishment, it would be out of Sarek's hands, it would be out if Spock's hands, out of Leonard's hands and even out if the great T'Pau's hands, Jim WOULD BE put to death if any other Vulcan were to see or hear of Jim's continuous defiance, pregnancy or no pregnancy.

Sarek used the belt until he got his point across.. 

That Jim's willfullness could get Jim killed and Spock, Leonard and Jim's twins would die with him and not even The House of Surak's Clan Matriarch would get a say in the matter.. 

Sarek needed Jim finally cowed enough to fall in line and be obedient or else Spock and Leonard would die if word of Jim's defiance got out and Jim was killed.. 

To Vulcans, Adultery between Bondmates was one of the most heinous crimes that could exist and it was usually a crime punishable by death to the Adulterer right then at the announcement of a Guilty Verdict.. But with T'hy'la, the crime of Adultry was multitudes worse than even murder, but with T'hy'la, the punishment could not be the death of the Adulterer, because that would also mean death of the Adulterer's Bondmate, thus the punishment was taking the Adulterers voice and holding the Adulterer in a prison to service their Bondmate's Pon Farr every seven years, but if a pregnant Adulterer was thrown into the equation, the punishment had to be altered, enforced silence and slavery for the duration of the Adulterer's pregnancy and then enforced silence and imprisonment to await their Bondmate's Pon Farr after the pregnancy was carried to term and the child of the Adulterer was delivered.. But as Adultery was so heinous and the Adultery if a T'hy'la even more so, if an Adulterer was caught trying to thwart their punishment, other Vulcans could see such defiance as a reason to put the Adulterer down even if it meant also killing the Adulterer's T'hy'la and/or even the Adulterer's unborn child with them.. Because such defiance could not be tolerated, especially from the worst sort of criminal.. T'hy'la or not.. Pregnant or not.. Death of the Adulterer's Bondmate and child would be seen as a mercy by the one taking the life of an Adulterer defying their punishment..

Sarek refused to let that happen.. When it came to Spock, his son, his logic escaped him, nothing could be allowed to threaten the life of his son.. So Sarek hit Jim with the belt until he got his point across that Jim had to obey, because if Jim did not obey, Spock could die.. All Sarek saw was the threat continuous Jim's defiance posed to Spock's life..

The whipping lasted less than ten minutes before Jim gave up and gave in.. 

Jim had bleeding welts on his back but a dermal regenerator would repair the skin.. It was more Jim's spirit that was broken than anything because to him the situation was becoming more and more hopeless as he realized he might never be free again, even if proof of his innocence stared every Vulcan on this planet right in their faces.. 

Sarek repaired the damage done to Jim's skin but left Jim chained to let the lesson fully sink in..

About an hour after the whipping and the aftermath, Jim felt a horribly inappropriate heat pool in his loins.. He was still tied facing the wall and he began mindlessly trying to rut against the wall, he pulled his own shoulders out of socket trying to get the friction he needed to ease the burning in his blood..

He felt the other ends of his T'hy'la Bonds.. Across time and space.. His Bondmates were sating their Pon Farr without him..

His blood boiled in the need to seek vengeance against his Bondmates and the one who would dare touch them in his stead.. 

He hated it.. He hated himself.. That he would be so weak as to still want them, to have his blood still burn for them even after what they had done to him.. And then he felt his T'hy'las BOND with someone else.. How HUMILIATING! He would kill them! He would raze their homes to the ground, he would burn them and their newly Bonded one to CINDERS!

He hated it.. He hated THEM!

This heavy, fiery, infliction that they put on his shoulders and then left him to carry the weight of alone!

His need for vengeance warred with, conflicted against, his need to dive into the cooling oasis of the minds of his Bondmates..

He burned.. He burned!


	14. Chapter 14

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Zarabeth grew round with pregnancy, alarmingly fast, until she was double the size that most fully pregnant Humanoid Beings get at the end of their pregnancies..

Zarabeth's middle was huge.

And Spock could sense two new minds developing within Zarabeth's womb.

Twins..

And yet Spock and Leonard knew for a fact that they were the only ones to so much as touch Zarabeth because they were the only ones here besides her..

Leonard sat besides Spock with a heavy sigh once Spock told Leonard the news that there were two minds within Zarabeth's womb.

"You realize what this means.. Don't you?" Leonard asks Spock.

"It means that at least one of us, are indeed capable of fathering offspring, that at least one of us is even capable of fathering twins." Spock replied.

"It means that Jim wasn't lying.. He was really innocent.." Leonard said with sadness in his voice and tears in his eyes.

"Indeed.. I have also come to the same conclusion.." Spock stated, carefully picking through what few words he still had left.. As Spock's mind reverted more and more towards his primal ancestry, Spock lost more and more words, it was getting rarer and rarer to have Spock be lucid enough and civilized enough to speak in Standard instead of Ancient Golic Vulcan, and sometimes Spock lost himself so much to the primal state that he did not speak at all and instead communicated through grunts, growls, hisses, like an animal.. 

"We messed up, Spock.. We messed up so bad.." Leonard stated as his shoulders begain to shake from the onslaught of tears that poured from him.

"I agree." Spock replied.

"We have to get out of this place, Spock.. It's the only way of having a chance to fix what we've done!"

"I know.. But we do not know how to find the Portal again."

Leonard sighed "And even if we did, we can't know how going through the Portal would affect Zarabeth's pregnancy.. We can't try to leave until at least after she's given birth.."

"I would not be able to return with you." Zarabeth stated as she joined them by the fire.. "Only those who came through the Portal unprepared can return back through the Portal.. I was prepared before I came through the Portal. I can never go back through it."

"What would that mean for the children?.." Leonard asked.

"They will be born unprepared, thus they can venture through the Portal with you when you return.. Just please promise me that you will take them with you once you go?.. I do not want them to grow up in this cold, harsh, place." Zarabeth was clearly sad, but trying to hold herself together.

"But then you will be alone." Leonard stated sadly.

"I was alone before you came.. I will be alone after you go... I would rather be alone knowing my children are safe and that a piece of me lives on, free, in a world somewhere outside this one." Zarabeth stated calmly. "This horrible place is no place for children. I wanted to send them through the Portal where they can be safe, the second I realized I was carrying them.. And I always knew that the two of you would want to leave at some point."

"But we don't even know how to get back to the Portal." Leonard said in frustration.

"Once the children have come. We will journey to find the Portal." Zarabeth said with a note of finality. "I must prepare.. The time will be upon us soon."

Zarabeth packed enough food and furs for the journey into a fur covered leather pack that Spock had made.

By the time night fell on Sarpeidon, Zarabeth was in labor..

"The time is upon us!.. Our children come!.." Zarabeth shouted in pain as a contraction ripped through her..

Spock was in a full blown primal state, crouching down and holding Zarabeth to his chest and growling at Leonard, not in violence but in a "Do something, now!" sort of way.

"I know, Spock, I know.." Leonard said calmly as he knelt down in between Zarabeth's knees and could see that she was already fully dilated and that he could already see the head of the first twin.

"Okay, darlin.." Leonard said soothingly as he ran a comforting hand up and down Zarabeth's outer thigh "At the start of the next contraction, I need you to push.. As hard as you can."

Zarabeth nodded. Spock gripped her shoulders from behind to brace her.

And then she pushed.

Leonard worked quickly to make sure that the umbilical cord did not wrap around the first twins neck and then he cleared the airways as best as possible.

"I need you to push again!.." Leonard shouted.

Zarabeth screamed as the first twin's shoulders breached her.

Once the shoulders were clear the first twin fell free of the birth canal and Leonard scooped the now crying infant up.. "A boy!.." Leonard said with an elated cry as he cuddled the messy, squalling newborn to his chest and began to clean the baby's skin.. 

"Spock!.." Leonard exclaimed with a huff of a laugh "He has your ears!"

"I.. am.. " Spock struggled with words "a.. father.."

"Yeah.. Spock.. Yeah.. You're a father.." Leonard said with awe in his voice as he passed the newborn boy to Zarabeth's arms where she cooed over him and caressed his adorable pointed ears as Leonard clipped the umbilical cord and delivered the first placenta.

The moment was short lived as Zarabeth let out a sharp "Oh!.." .. as another contraction hit her..

"Yeah.. We got one more baby to go still." Leonard said apologetically even though there was nothing he could do about the fact that there had hardly been any time for Zarabeth to rest after giving birth to the first twin.

"Here we go again, darlin." Leonard said soothingly "Just like last time.. Breathe through the contractions.."

Soon, Leonard could see the next twin crowning.. 

"Okay.. On the next contraction it'll be time to push!" Leonard exclaimed as Zarabeth began to scream as the baby slid down the birth canal a little farther. "Time to push!"

Zarabeth pushed and screamed as the head and shoulders of the next twin broke free of the birth canal.

Leonard cleared the baby's airways with a joyful shout of "A girl!" as the new baby began to cry.

"A daughter.." Zarabeth said with longing "I have a daughter and a son.. I have never known a happier day or a more heartbreaking day.. I am the happiest I have ever been because I have two beautiful children and I already love them both so much.. But my heart breaks.. Because I know that I will soon have to say goodbye forever.. Please swear it to me that you will never go a day without letting them know that I love them?"

"I promise." Leonard replied "That we will tell them everyday for the rest of our lives, that you love them."

Zarabeth nodded tiredly and then laid back against Spock who now held the baby boy in his arms so that Zarabeth could hold the girl.

"What should we name them?.." Zarabeth asked in a whisper as she caressed her new daughter's ears, revealing that they too were pointed.

"Zar." Spock said, his primal state fading slightly more now that Zarabeth had given birth to both twins.. "Zar, for the boy.."

Leonard smiled "And Beth for the girl.. After their mother.. So that they can have that piece of you with them always."

"You honor me." Zarabeth said tearfully.

"No.. You.. You have honored us." Leonard replied.. 

Leonard and Spock stayed two more Sarpeidon weeks with Zarabeth so that could spend time with the children that she would never again get to see once Spock and Leonard crossed through the Portal with them.

Then they journeyed..

Through freezing cold and blinding blizzards..

With the Infants wrapped in furs and strapped to Spock's and Leonard's chests and covered under the furs Spock and Leonard wore.

Zarabeth led the expedition.. On the third Sarpeidon day of their journey they could hear Sulu's voice calling out to them and they followed the sound of Sulu's voice until they found what appeared to be a shimmering, transparent wall.

"This must be the Portal." Zarabeth said sadly.. "I will miss you both.. And I will miss my children even more.." She said this with tears streaming steadily down her face.. 

"We will miss you as well." Spock said, struggling to get the words out right with his primal state lingering just under the surface.

Leonard nodded in agreement and hugged Zarabeth tightly to his side so that he didn't squish the infant strapped to his chest. 

Zarabeth pulled the collar of Leonard's furs down and kissed her daughter on the forehead then did the same with Spock's furs and kissed her son the same way.. Whispering goodbye to her children..

"My heart will never stop breaking from this.." Zarabeth said tearfully.

"Neither will ours, darlin, neither will ours." Leonard replied as he kissed Zarabeth and gave her another side hug.

Zarabeth nodded and wiped the tears from her face "Go.. Now.. Before my soul shatters even more and I am unable to keep from trying to stop you both from leaving and taking my babies with you." she cried and pushed Spock and Leonard towards the Portal and turned away "Please do not make me watch you leave!.. Please do not make me watch you take my children away!" Zarabeth wailed.. "Go!.. Please.. You must go now! Before I no longer have the strength to let you leave!" she cried even harder.

Spock and Leonard looked at each other feeling helpless.. 

They looked to Zarabeth whose back was turned and whose shoulders were shaking from the force of her sobbing.

"Goodbye.." They whispered as they took one another's hand and stepped through the Portal before they lost the will to leave.

Their hearts broke once they were through.. Zarabeth was more than ten thousand years in the past now.. 

The twins both gave plaintive cries, echoing their heartbreak.

Sulu came rushing up to them saying how glad he was that they made it back through the Portal before Sarpeidon was destroyed and then Sulu stopped as he heard the cry of the Infants.

"What?.. What exactly are you two doing with babies?".. Sulu asked

Leonard gave Sulu a brief explanation.. The look on Sulu's face became stormy and Leonard could understand why.. Because Sulu came to the same conclusion Spock and Leonard both had.. Jim had been innocent and therefore wrongly punished.

Sulu nodded.. "We need to get back to The Enterprise." Sulu's voice was monotone, emotionless.. 

Spock and Leonard nodded in agreement, both of them understanding that they had both probably just deservedly lost Sulu's friendship.

"Enterprise." Sulu called into his Comm.. "Five to beam up."

..


	15. Chapter 15

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Sarek entered the room to release the slave from the chains now that the lesson learned had, had enough time to sink in.

He found the Human fevered and rutting against the wall like an animal in Heat.. Or like a Vulcan in Pon Farr..

This might be the only chance he had to get justice for Spock.. 

After all, Adultery is a crime that requires two to commit it.. And the slave it seems, had been stupid enough to commit the crime of Adultery with a Vulcan, which Sarek had surmised from the proof of copper based blood being detected in at least one twin, and now, the slave was inflicted with Pon Farr although it could not be Spock's and Leonard's Pon Farr because it had been only a mere six months since they had been through Pon Farr, so the slave must have committed Adultery with a Vulcan that was now going through Pon Farr, also inflicting the slave with the condition.

And now, Sarek had the perfect opportunity to look into the slave's mind and see through to the other side just who the slave had committed Adultery with as through Pon Farr the minds of both Adulterers would be flung open and nothing could be hidden...

Sarek left the slave chained to the wall and pressed his fingers to the slave's Meld Points, ignoring the slave's angry yowling and hissing and attempts to claw and bite and fight against the unwelcome touch because Sarek was not the slave's Bonded and in this condition the slave would not willingly accept the touch of any other.. 

Sarek sank into the slave's mind..

Absolutely nothing could be hidden in a mind going through Pon Farr.. Absolutely nothing..

The slave's mind was indeed flung open.. 

And Sarek saw it all..

Jim's abusive childhood, Tarsus IV.. Jim's life, his relationship with Spock and Leonard.. 

But there was nothing..

Nothing, anywhere in Jim's mind that showed Jim committing Adultery..

Sarek saw and heard Jim pleading with Spock and Leonard trying to make them believe him, trying to make Spock and Leonard believe that one or both of them were the father of the twins that Jim carried .. He saw where Spock and Leonard had melded with Jim and saw what Sarek was seeing now.. Yet.. Spock and Leonard had still believed that Jim had committed Adultery and had learned how to hide it, even while in a Meld..

And the Pon Farr?

It was Spock and Leonard somehow going through yet another Pon Farr even though it was mere months since they had gone through it last!

Spock's and Leonard's minds were also wide open as their blood burned with the fevers of Pon Farr.. And Sarek could see them take another Bondmate.. She was not T'hy'la and therefore her death would not mean the deaths of his son or his son's Bondmates and oh how he wanted the woman dead!.. Or no.. Jim wanted the woman dead and Sarek was feeling Jim's pain and betrayal!

Jim was burning!.. Jim was burning!

Sarek ripped himself out of Jim's mind with a distressed scream and he broke the chains from around Jim's wrists and carried the Human to the nearest soft surface.

Jim was still writhing around, burning from Pon Farr and the robe Jim wore, rode up on Jim's legs, revealing green and red blood slicking Jim's thighs, a glance at the wall showed still wet smears of green and red blood from where Jim had rubbed against the wall.

Sarek lifted Jim's robe.. The green and red blood ran from Jim's anal cavity.. 

Jim's children were in mortal peril...


	16. Chapter 16

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The atmosphere on The Enterprise towards Spock and Leonard became icier that the tundra of Sarpeidon once The Crew found out, that the two infants brought on board by Spock and Leonard were Spock's AND Leonard's children.. As in both children shared DNA from both men..

It was against all odds..

But..

The twins that Zarabeth gave birth to, were indeed part Vulcan, which obviously meant Spock fathered them both..

Or so Spock and Leonard had originally thought, until there was a certain set of birthmarks discovered on both twins, birthmarks exactly like the ones that have run in the McCoy family line for generations.

Curious, Leonard had run a test on the twins and 'lo and behold, the twins weren't just Spock's and Zarabeth's, but HIS too..

Meaning BOTH Spock and Leonard could father not just one child, but twins, meaning that Spock wasn't nearly as sterile as he thought and that Leonard needed a damn refund from a failed Vasectomy..

Except.. Leonard ran more tests.. This time on Spock and then himself..

And..

Spock was as sterile as sterile can get and Leonard had absolutely no little swimmers and the scans he ran on himself showed that the Vascectomy was one hundred percent successful..

So..

How in the HELL had he AND Spock fathered even ONE child, let alone TWINS?

It had to have been because of the Pon Farr.. It had to have been. It was the only explanation that could make any sort of sense.. 

But again.. That meant that Jim had been right to begin with.

And now.. Spock and Leonard were outcast amongst The Crew, everyone on The Enterprise had taken Spock's and Leonard's sides thinking that they had, had proof of their claims that Jim had cheated on them and now, all of them were seeing that Spock and Leonard had never had any proof at all, just a stubborn belief that they couldn't possibly be wrong and The Crew justifiably became upset that they had all been duped into helping the wrongful punishment of an innocent man who had repeatedly saved all of their lives..

And worse.. 

The Entire Vulcan Race already knew the wrongs that Spock and Leonard had committed against their T'hy'la before they could even try to set their mistakes right.

Now.. Spock and Leonard were judged guilty..

And they would have to be taken to New Vulcan to be sentenced to their Fate.. Their children, Beth and Zar may never hear their voices again..

It looked as if Leonard and Spock might not be able to keep their promise to Zarabeth and be able to tell her children that she loved and missed them both every day for the rest of their lives, because once he and Spock arrived on New Vulcan, they would most likely lose their voices..


	17. Chapter 17

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Sarek carefully removed the punishment collar from around Jim's neck then gently scooped the incoherent and barely conscious Jim up into a bridal carry and quickly got him into the hovercraft and drove him to the nearest hospital that catered to mostly Human patients as he didn't trust the prejudices of Vulcans against both Humans and slaves, especially when it came to the innocent man beside him..

Vulcans DO FEEL... 

Sarek has always known that the emotions of The Vulcan Race run stronger, more deeply, more violently and more chaoticly than the emotions of many other Races and Sarek had felt a great deal many negative things towards Jim when he truly believed that the man had committed one of the most heinous crimes against his beloved Amanda's only child and had reacted emotionally, violently, in his continued anger at Jim and he had believed it was justifiable anger, justifiable violence towards the worst sort of criminal who had hurt his child.

But now Sarek felt shame and guilt because he had been wrong.. If Sarek had known that when Spock and Leonard had Melded with Jim that Spock and Leonard had not seen any evidence of Jim being adulterous, Sarek would have demanded a proper trial, but as Spock and Leonard had implied that they did have proof that Jim was adulterous and said that they had Melded with Jim, the Meld between Bond Mates had been considered Trial enough despite no one besides Spock and Leonard knowing what had been seen in The Meld since Jim's Bond Mates still considered Jim guilty.. It had been assumed that it had been The Meld had been the proof that Jim was adulterous.. Now Sarek knew better, it had been Jim's pregnancy itself that Spock and Leonard had thought was proof that Jim had, had to have committed Adultery despite going them going into Jim's mind and not seeing and proof.. Spock and Leonard had believed that they were one hundred percent completely unable to father children and therefore Jim somehow being pregnant must mean that Jim had committed Adultery and even a Meld proving Jim's innocence could not convince them otherwise, in fact, Spock and Leonard had believed that Jim had simply learned how to lie and hide things even while furing a Meld..

Now the entity of The Vulcan Race was guilty for what had befallen Jim, an innocent man, wrongly convicted and wrongly punished for a crime he did not committ, all because of the secrecy surrounding Pon Farr.. All because no one in the Vulcan Race was really properly educated about their own biologies, due to that secrecy surrounding Pon Farr...

Even Sarek, himself, who had lived through several Pon Farrs, still did not know everything that there was to know about Pon Farr..

But he had known this.. 

That outside of Pon Farr..

He was Sterile.

Sarek wishes now that he had thought to make Spock aware of at least that possibility.. That outside of Pon Farr he would be Sterile but once in the throws of Pon Farr he might be capable of fathering a child.. But Sarek hadn't known that Spock would think that being Sterile was simply a result of his hybrid genetics instead of something that might occur amongst all Vulcan Males outside of Pon Farr.. Sarek did not know.. Perhaps it was something that happened only in Sarek's bloodline?

If Sarek had thought to make sure that his son was properly educated on all aspects and possibilieties of Vulcan reproduction.. Perhaps none of this would have ever happened.. But The Vulcan Race is so ashamed of the fires that consume them, that it is shrouded in secrecy and no one talks about it, not even to educate their children past a cursory "It is something that afflicts us" and be done with it as to do or say much more on the subject was a taboo that just no Vulcan could bring themselves to breach..

And his son and his Bondmates have and would continue paying the price over something as easily fixable as poor sexual education..

Sarek told the hospital staff that Jim was his son-in-law and that he was six months pregnant and hurt and bleeding then he watched helplessly as they bundled Jim out of his hovercraft and onto a Burney and wheeled Jim behind doors that he could not go through.. 

He sat waiting on a cold, hard plastic chair in a chilly, air conditioned, waiting room.

After hours of waiting, a human female in mismatched pink and teal scrubs came out through the doors that Jim was wheeled through.

Sarek instictively wanted to curl in on himself because the woman looked enraged and he had a feeling that he knew why.

"I don't know who did it.. But your son-in-law was beaten to hell!.. He suffered catastrophic blood loss and there's marks around his neck that looks like he was forced to wear some kind of shock collar.. I don't want to be insulting or offensive.. But is there any possible way that this was Domestic Violence?"

Sarek avoided answering the question.. "What of Jim's children?"

"Twins.. One boy, one girl, both were born very premature and in severe distress.. We don't know if they will make it through the night.. And your son-in-law .. I doubt he will make it past the hour.. If you think his Bondmate might wish to say goodbye to him or the children.. Now would be a really good time to get a hold of them and get them here." ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..
> 
> ..
> 
> I'm obviously not gonna kill Jim or his babies..


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...
> 
> I know how I want to end this Story.. But I feel like Readers won't be very happy with a few of the bends that this will go down.. Yes Leonare and Spock will be punished.. Honestly I can't in good conscience allow them to get off easy.. The thing is though.. There's a certain way I need things to go down for not just Leonard and Spock but the Vulcan Race as well.. So Spock and Leonard won't get quite as severely punished as I know many would like and definitely not as severely as they deserve .. The punishment won't exactly fit the crime in the end.. But they will be punished and they will be miserable.. It just won't be in the way most Readers are hoping.. In fact I think that maybe what I have planned for them is going to be worse in many ways than any punishment that any authority could possibly hand down.. A Hell of their own making, so to speak.. And oh, it will be a horrible Hell that they'll have made for themselves!.. Also I think that it will please some Readers to know that Jim will have a special hand in making sure that they suffer..
> 
> ..
> 
> ..

..

..

Sarek contacted Spock and Leonard, who, were already on their way to New Vulcan.. The Vulcan High Council were going to put Spock and Leonard on Trial for what the wrongs that had been done to Jim.. 

Sarek told the hospital staff to contact him should the condition of Jim or either of Jim's twins changed..

Sarek had to prepare a legal defense for his son and son-in-law and with a pang of regret he wished that he could go back in time and properly inform Spock of the potentials and possibilities of Vulcan biology and change the past, so that none of the events of the last six months would have never happened and instead Spock and Leonard could have spent all of that time cherishing their pregnant T'hy'la..

Sarek arrived at the chambers of The Vulcan High Council and found Spock and Leonard already there, waiting with the twin infants that they had fathered on Sarpeidon.

The Vulcan High Council looked severe with their emotionless, hard angled, faces.

Sarek presented his defense of Spock and Leonard.

His son and son-in-law had thought themselves incapable of fathering children no matter the circumstances.. So truly, what else were they to believe when they found out that their other T'hy'la and Bondmate was pregnant?

Vulcans do not lie and though Sarek is a Diplomat, a politician, he is no exception, he does not lie. But he does spin and weave until the truth suits his purpose. And in the end Sarek makes a suggestion, but also a subtle subtle threat of making information about Pon Farr less restricted so that something like this could not happen again as it would be too easy for any Vulcan or Bondmate of a Vulcan to have the same sort of misunderstanding with their own Bondmate should a pregnancy occur despite one or both they and their Bondmate being Sterile.. It is the suggestion (threat) that cows The Vulcan High Council into releasing Spock and Leonard without punishment.. 

Spock and Leonard were free without any legal ramifications.. 

But that did not mean that they would go unpunished..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..
> 
> ..
> 
> Don't hate me, don't hate me, don't hate me!
> 
> *dodges rocks, raw eggs and rotten tomatoes*
> 
> Spock and Leonard WILL BE punished!
> 
> And remember.. Jim gets to have a special hand in their suffering.. So it might actually be a worse punishment if that the punishment comes from a personal hell rather than a legal court sentenced Hell?
> 
> Don't hate me, please?


	19. Chapter 19

..

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Being Comatose.. Well.. It's a dark place where all the shadows of one's life roam free to torture them.. 

Okay.. This is morbid.. And it probably doesn't happen to everyone. It would make sense if a few people who were Comatose to get to bathe in all of the good and light in their lives.

But.. Jim?

Jim is in the shadows.

Tendrils of shadows stretch out like branches of of old spooky trees and grab at him like thin dark skeletal hands made of shadows.

He runs and runs and it's terrifyingly endless.

Memory after memory snags him, drags him down, drowns him until he's breathless, aching, lonely, frightened and starving. Then the memories spit him back into the shadows to run from the dark shadow hands that clutch at him until he is caught and dragged into memories once more.

The shadows crash on him like a tidal wave and he's towed under, rolled into the darkness until it takes the shapes and sounds of memories and it all starts again.. And again.. And again.. 

He replays the bad things in his life like several broken records.. And this isn't something Jim chooses or wants but nothing and no one has cared about his wants his choices, so his own mind turning against, that's honestly no surprise..

His abusive "uncle", Tarsus IV, being beaten, being molested, being raped, being neglected, being starved, his cold distant mother, his runaway brother.. And he hasn't even scratched the surface of the shit shows he's been through as an adult.. 

Dying in Warp Core.. Losing Ambassador Spock, the violent Pon Farr spent with Spock and Leonard.. The discovery of the pregnancy, the distrust and betrayal by his Bondmates, his T'hy'las..

Something happens and the darkness spits him out and he sees.. Light.. Light in the darkness.

A thread of light to be precise.. He knows this is his Bond to Spock and Leonard.. 

It is light.. But barely.. It's growing thin, withering, becoming dim.. It's damaged.. Weak..

Behind him threads that are brighter and healthier begin to glow, radiant, shining so pure.. There are two.

His children.

They are out in the world.

He can sense it.

He is no longer pregnant.

He has given birth.

And his children are alive and the Bond they have with him is healthy, vibrant, strong.

He looks at the damaged T'hy'la Bond.. And he knows.. That if the Bonds he has with his children touches the damaged T'hy'la Bond then they too will become damaged.. 

All he is really thinking when it happens is that he has to protect his children, protect their minds. He can feel along the Bond he has with his Twins that if they had ever had any Bond whatsoever with Spock and/or Bones then they somehow severed that Bond or those Bonds on their own.. An instinctual act of Self-Defense by the two new minds that share Bonds with Jim's.. But here in Jim's mind lies a Bond that can hurt his children because they can't defend themselves from it as it is a Bond in Jim's mind and not their own.. Jim has to be the one to protect his children from the damaged T'hy'la Bond or it could hurt the two new minds and Jim can sense that even with as healthy as the Mental Bonds he has with his children are, his children themselves are in frail health, their bodies born into the world too soon, three months prematurely, he can't allow their health to be compromised even further.

Protecting his children is all he is thinking of, it's the most important thing to him... 

His focus narrows down to those two healthy threads of light and he lets that focus surround him and the two healthy Bonds, buffering them from the damaged T'hy'la Bond.. He turns. Faces the damaged Bond. He can't let the damaged Bond drag his children through the same darkness that he's just spent forever running from and being dragged through all of his bad memories by.. And he won't let it drag him into darkness anymore either.

Somewhere in the darkness something SNAPS.. The damaged Bond whips the snapped end towards Jim amd the Bonds of Jim's children in retaliation trying to damage him and his children the way that Jim has damaged it.. But the protective buffer of Jim's focus narrowed down on protecting his children protects Jim and his children. The damaged Bond whips around still barely tethered on one end and Jim lets his pain ebb out of him all the betrayals his T'hy'las have committed against him.. It all flows from him through the protective buffer and the other end of the damaged T'hy'la Bond is ripped out by the force of it .. The damaged Bond lies in the darkness writhing around like a dying snake.. It dims until it faded into nothing until it is a part of the darkness.

And soon, the darkness also fades.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to Update sooner, I swear.. But I've been working so much lately and today is the first actual day off in what feels like forever..
> 
> ..
> 
> .

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Sarek was taking Spock, Leonard and their twins Zar and Beth to the hospital where Jim and his children were when Spock and Leonard began screaming, wailing in grief and pain and clutched their heads in agony and Sarek felt their pain through the Familial Bonds he had with Spock and Leonard as their T'hy'la Bonds with Jim snapped and dissolved.

Sarek pulled over to the side of the road and let out an animalistic roar as the expanse opened up and revealed that where Jim once was in his son's Bonding Centers, was now an empty void and upon inspection of both Spock's and Leonard's Bonds he could see the fraying of the loss of a T'hy'la as Spock's and Leonard's minds warped and unraveled from the breaking of the Triad T'hy'la Bond from one corner of their triangular Bond.

Spock and Leonard were not dead from the loss.. Not yet.. But their minds were giant, gaping wounds that they both might succumb to if they were not taken to a Mind Healer immediately and the twins, Zar and Beth whimpered in agony as they felt the pain reverberating down from their parents through their own Parental Bonds .. Sarek could feel through the Bonds with Spock and Leonard, the loss, the deaths of both Jim and his twins and if Sarek did not get Spock, Leonard and their twins to a Mind Healer soon, he would lose the four of them as well..

..

..

When Jim wakes it's to a soft foggy haze.

It's like the room is filled with mist.

But he knows he is awake as he can see a blue blurry shape moving around beside him, he can hear the steady beeping of a heart monitor and he can hear the movement of the person near him as they check his I.V. bag which makes a soft clacking noise as it whisper whaps back against the I.V. Pole and the I.V. Tubing itself makes a soft clinking noise on the rail of his bed.

The person in the room notices his eyes are open.

"Mister Kirk? My name is Marcy, I'm your Night Nurse. Can you hear me?" A feminine voice asks.

"Ugh.." Jim responds in a groan "Blurry." He croaks.

"Okay.. I will talk with your doctors about that. In the meantime, are you in any pain?" Marcy asks.

"Eyes.. Pressure.. Blurry." Jim pants "Chest.. Tight.. Mouth.. Thirsty.. Mmmmmmyyyy babies.. Where're mmm babies?"

"They're both in NICU .. They scared us all.. So did you.. But all three of you pulled through.." Marcy replied.

"Mmm.. Good." Jim groaned.. "C'n I seeeee .. T'em?.." 

"I will talk to your doctors.. See what they can do for your pain and vision problems.. I will have to talk to your children's doctors about the possibility of either bringing them here from NICU or taking you into NICU for you to see them.. They're both in incubators because they were both born too early..."

Jim nodded in understanding and closed his eyes, his tired mind and body demanding he rest.

Jim heard the whoosh and thump of the door as Marcy left the room and then Jim's mind was swallowed by deep dark exhaustion.

..

..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..
> 
> ..
> 
> So Sarek, Spock and Leonard all think Jim and the twins that Jim gave birth to are all dead because of how they felt the Bonds with Jim break because they think that a T'hy'la Bond can only be broken by death.. And now Sarek thinks that Spock and Leonard (and possibly Zar and Beth) will "die too" because he thinks that the only way for a T'hy'la Bond to break is through death and that the death of one T'hy'la means the inevitable death of the other T'hy'la(s) ..
> 
> Once again they are way wrong ..
> 
> Y'all would think they would have learned better than to just jump to conclusions based on what they think they know is a set in stone fact by now, wouldn't you?.. But they obviously haven't learned better by now..


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is taking so long.. I work weird hours and I'm always exhausted..

..

..

When Jim wakes, Marcy, the Night Nurse is back.. She's changing out his IV again.. Jim figures he must have been out a while..

Marcy sees he's awake and smiles "Good news Mister Kirk, I spoke with your children's doctors and they've given the okay for you to see them."

"Mmm dat's nice.." Jim slurs sloppily, he still feels a little out of it but his vision is a lot clearer "Mmmyyy eyesss arrrree mm betterrr." he adds "Wwwaaannnnaaaa sssseeeee 'em."

Marcy nods .. "It's being arranged, I notified the NICU when I noticed you were coming around again.. There'll be two nurses to come in to help get you in a wheelchair in a few minutes.. Also .. Don't worry about your speech or if your vision goes blurry again.. Your problems with your vision and speech will get better when your doctors are able to wean you off of the more powerful pain meds they've got you on."

""Mmm 'kay." Jim says with a weak nod.

A few moments later two other females nurses come in, one is pushing a wheelchair.

It takes Marcy and the other two to get Jim from the bed to the chair because Jim's body has suddenly decided that he is a liquid and not a solid and the three nurses have to literally pour Jim into the chair.

Jim is wheeled to just outside the NICU, the incubator his twins are in is pushed into a room that is part of the NICU but also separate.. To keep the main part of NICU itself a mostly sterile environment for the other infants inside..

Jim is then wheeled into the area his twins have been taken into..

Jim can't hold them.. They're both too premature to be removed from the incubator.. But the sides if the incubator have access holes that Jim can reach his hands into so he can touch them.

Jim is so careful and touches the tiny premies like they might break .. He caresses his fingertips over the sides of their small little heads, over their delicately pointed Part-Vulcan ears, he touches their hands, their feet, counts fingers and toes.. He tries to memorize every bit of them because they are so young, so small, so fragile and he knows loss all too well and he's so terrified that his children will be torn from him like so many he's loved have been torn from him before. 

"What are you going to name them?" Marcy asks from behind Jim's wheelchair as she wheels Jim back to his room.

"Alíthea for my daughter.. It means Truth in Greek.. And Męczennik for my son.. It means Martyr in Polish."

"Well.. Those .. Are some.. unique .. names.." Marcy states sounding unsure.

"My daughter can be called Thea for short and my son can be called Nik for short." Jim says in reassurance.

"Well that's a little less.. " Marcy doesn't say what its a little less of, she just trails off before altering course "Sooo.. I'm guessing their other parent did something to piss you off?.. Because it isn't everyday I hear someone basically name their child Martyr, I mean yeah it's a word for Martyr in a different language from Standard.. But it's still a word for Martyr and that's just not.. I mean.. A name that means Truth I can get.. I mean even just Truth itself is a common name, but not Martyr or a word that means Martyr.. And you did come into the hospital all beaten to hell... We all thought it was from Spousal Abuse."

Jim shook his head "It's complicated.." he sighed and told Marcy how he came to be where he was.. All of it poured out if him until he was left feeling empty...

"So.." Jim says as he gets to the present "I want them both to know what they did, what they cost themselves, I want them to remember it every time they so much as simply think of even just my children's names. My children almost died because of them.. They might still die because of them.. I want the weight of that blame to never leave their shoulders not even for a second."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> 
> Again .. Sorry this is taking so long.. I work weird hours and I'm always exhausted..


End file.
